عالم التخسيس و الجمال
Sunday, February 24, 2008
The worried housewife sprang to the telephone when it rang and listened with relief to the kindly voice in her ear.
"How are you, darling?" it said. "What kind of a day are you having?"
"Oh, mother," said the housewife, breaking into bitter tears, "I've had such a bad day. The baby won't eat and the washing machine broke down. I haven't had a chance to go shopping, and besides, I've just sprained my ankle and I have to hobble around. On top of that, the house is a mess and I'm supposed to have two couples over for dinner tonight."
The mother was shocked and was at once all sympathy.
"Oh, darling," she said, "sit down, relax, and close your eyes. I'll be over in half an hour. I'll do your shopping, clean up the house, and cook your dinner for you. I'll feed the baby and I'll call a repairman I know who'll be at your house to fix the washing machine promptly. Now stop crying. I'll do everything. In fact, I'll even call George at the office and tell him he ought to come home and help out for once."
"George?" said the housewife. "Who's George?"
"Why, George! Your husband!... Isn't this 223-1374?"
"No, this is 232-1374."
"Oh, I'm sorry. I guess I have the wrong number."
There was a short pause and the housewife said,
"Does this mean you're not coming over?"
Few More Jokes 4U : (1) Meal cooked by Angry Wife
(3) A gujarati boy
(4) Some light jokes
I was barely sitting down in the bathroom when I heard a voice from the other stall saying:"Hi, how are you?
"I'm not the type to start a conversation in the restroom but I don't know what got into me, so I answered, somewhat embarrassed,"Doin' just fine!"
And the other person says: "So what are you up to?"What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so
I say:"Uhhh, I'm like you, just traveling!"At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question."Can I come over?
"OK, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation. I tell them ,
"No........I'm a little busy right now!!!"Then I hear the person say nervously...
"Listen, I'll have to call you back.
There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions."
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed. He shoots his friend and kills him. Wife says 'If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends.'
2. Brother wanted
A small boy wrote to Santa Claus,' send me a brother'.... Santa wrote back, 'SEND ME YOUR MOTHER'....
3. Meaning of WIFE
Husband asks, 'Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means 'Without Information Fighting Every time'!' Wife replies, 'No, it means 'With Idiot For Ever'!!!'
4. Importance of a period
Teacher: 'Do you know the importance of a period?'
Kid: 'Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack & our driver ran away.'
5. Confident vs. confidential
A young boy asks his Dad, 'What is the difference between confident and confidential?'
Dad says, 'you are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my son, that's confidential!'
6. Anger management?
Husband: 'When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?'
Wife: 'I clean the toilet.'
Husband: 'How does that help?'
Wife: 'I use your toothbrush.'
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